Before you ask, think again!

From experiences of people that I know, my profession as a registered nurse, as well as personal experience one thing I have learned is that many married couples are often faced with various challenges related to conception. These challenges can pose difficulties in marriages and at times lead to separation. Sure, God blessed the first union and told them to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:22). 

This instruction of God covers every aspect of the couple’s life and union, conception inclusive which will occur at God’s appointed time. Somehow society is conditioned to expect that a newly wedded couple should be pregnant within a certain time frame post wedding. Hmm, what if they are actually dealing with infertility issues? 

The fact is that you never know what a couple is going through unless they tell you. I never knew this until my husband and I faced our own challenges with pregnancy losses. Our experience has humbled me greatly. I have become more sensitive and privately prayerful for couples on these issues. Please and please I want to encourage you to avoid asking direct pregnancy questions, and assuming that a newly married woman is pregnant when she nor the couple have shared the news. 

If you suspect that a woman is pregnant, rather than assuming or asking, pray for her. She may have just put on a few pounds after marriage and that bulging belly you see in her Instagram or Facebook picture may simply be as a result of a very nice meal . This was actually my case where shortly after marriage, someone assumed that I was pregnant based on a picture that I posted online. Well, I was not pregnant in that picture and even if I were, it was far too early to show as the picture was taken literally a day or two after our wedding. 

Let’s be sensitive please. These issues are very private and delicate to couples and unless they share the news of pregnancy, or pregnancy loss please refrain from assumptions and asking direct questions. Your questions, comments or assumptions may actually cause more damage to the already emotionally distraught woman dealing with an infertility issue/s. 

If you are a believer, pray for the couple in secret and wait for the announcement. One way or another the pregnancy will manifest itself! Your prayer can go farther than your comments, questions and assumptions on these issues. If you must speak to her or the couple, prayerfully approach the matter. Once again, be sensitive and allow the Lord to guide you. God bless you. 

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With love, 
Mrs. Charity Umar